The Upside Down of 2019

During the summer of 2019, our family watched the entire Netflix series of Stranger Things.   While I normally don’t indulge in watching trendy Netflix shows, I had heard enough references to the characters and locations on the show that I needed to check it out myself in order to have a better schema moving forward as a middle school teacher.  I could call it a coincidence, but for our little family of six, the entire year seemed like one long episode of uncomfortable events comparable to the strange scenarios that occur regularly in this popular Netflix series.  The Upside Down became a visible setting in my mind and, coincidentally, became an analogy for 2019 for our family in many ways.  Like the main characters in Stranger Things carefully meandering their way through The Upside Down, there were times when I was trudging through dark, scary, and unfamiliar territory while trying to find the way back to my normal life.

Even the weather of 2019 seemed “upside down” at times.  The summer snowstorm (pictured above) we experienced in Yellowstone National Park in June. The five-month-long drought that killed our pastures and made raising farm animals a true chore for us. The heavy freeze that hit the first week of November and killed what little grass was growing after the drought.  All of it made for a strange, if not exhausting and expensive, year on the farm.

The year of 2019 was one that will go down in infamy for my family.  It included many events that were sad, unexpected, and bewildering coupled with several outstanding, happy events as well.  Our oldest daughter’s graduation with honors from Baylor University and her subsequent teaching position at our local high school were the definite highlights of the year.   However, only weeks before her graduation, we experienced the hardest moment of the year with the devastating news of the sudden death of my 24-year-old nephew.  That horrible blow to our family was shortly followed by the early, unexpected death of my mom’s much younger brother who was a family favorite and joy to all who knew him.  Both of these early deaths in our family kept us in a state of sadness and anxiety for much of the year.  The events seemed “upside down” because people generally tend to believe that older members of the family will be the first to pass away so it feels wrong and uncomfortable when a totally unexpected, early death occurs.

In addition to the unexpected deaths in our own family, there seemed to be an inordinate number of deaths concerning young people this year.  There were several heart-breaking deaths in our small town due to tragic car accidents and there were also sudden deaths of many young, rising stars in America.  There also seemed to be an epidemic of young people across the world taking their own lives out of desperation and despair.  Upside down in so many ways.  Causing me to stop and ponder how a young person can feel so hopeless in a world of such abundance.

In our own family, all of our children struggled with friendships, relationships, sadness, or even depression at times.  We had to band together tightly to pull one another through seasons of difficulty, stress, and discouragement.  The Outdoorsman and I have never worked harder in our role as parents as we did this past year.  Even though I hate to admit it, many of my friends and I have discussed the fact that the “terrible twos” were nothing compared to the “terrible twenties” in our experience as parents.  The issues facing our young adult children are big and real and hard and much more intimidating to take on than a mere temper tantrum over a desired toy or piece of candy. The issues our older children face today take careful weighing, thought, and consideration since the outcomes have much more serious consequences.

What could possibly be happening in America that is causing the alarming rise of stress-levels and clinical anxiety in our teenagers and young adults?  Even though it may sound cliche, I am going to go ahead and place blame on a combination of factors that are led by the influence of social media and video streaming channels.  When I look at what my children peruse in their free time, I cannot deny the impact of images and shows that promote unhealthy ideas and situations into their stream of consciousness in alarming amounts.

When I open up the News App on my iPhone, my Instagram page, my Facebook feed, and other sources of information and entertainment, I am swamped with images of seemingly “perfect” families with never-ending money and time for pleasure-seeking adventures.  According to the images, there is no one actually working, earning money, or pushing through real-life issues such as paying bills or dealing with unexpected health issues.  It seems that every YouTube and Instagram influencer has endless access to money, parties, travel, entertainment, clothes, and fun.

I can clearly see how disenchanting that could be for teenagers and young adults.  When they are only seeing lavish lifestyles, their own lives become a source of contention in their minds and hearts.  An actual attempt to create a REAL LIFE may seem mundane, dreary, and pointless.  It could cause a person to doubt her choice of careers, friends, spouses, and more.  Why would I hang out with these boring, plain people when it seems that everyone else in the (fake, social media) world is living life at its absolute best? Why isn’t my life this lavish and exciting?  What can I do to become famous and wealthy?   Also, consider the opposing views that could be just as disheartening for young people.  Is there something wrong with me if I am content with a regular life of work and family?  Shouldn’t I want more for myself?

To combat the issues facing our three children, they have all chosen at one point or another to abstain from social media completely.  Step back and try to clear their minds and truly focus on reality.  Not the “reality” of reality shows and reality stars, but the REAL reality of life, relationships, responsibility, and work.  They have all three gotten off of their social media sites for weeks, months, and even a year to regain a healthy view of the world around them.  Guess what?  It has made a difference.  The lack of time spent on social media has given them a new sense of acceptance, confidence, and purpose.  Not the purpose of this world, but the purposes that God has created them to pursue.  It has enabled them to regain a clear perspective on life and see what they need to do to grab hold of the opportunities set in front of them that are REAL, tangible, and satisfying.

You may think I am being hypocritical when condemning social media since I use social media to promote my blogs and to share life on our farm at https://greenacresadventure.com/.  This is the conundrum of social media.  It can be both helpful and harmful.  Something that must be viewed carefully and weighed regularly to promote healthy consumption.  Fortunately for me, it is relatively easy for me to balance social media because I was raised without the influence of social media and even television.  Instead of watching television, I read thousands of books, played outside, talked on the phone, visited people, and actually experienced college and world travel BEFORE social media existed. My schema and thought life were already pretty healthy and balanced before I jumped on social media during my early forties.  I had no idea what I was “missing” because I couldn’t see what others were doing.  I had no idea what I “needed” other than what I actually had.  I had no idea who was doing what with whom in what location and, guess what? Life was fun, fulfilling, and full of friendships.  Real friendships that lasted and flourished without being blasted all over social media.

I feel certain that social media has disillusioned many otherwise-happy young people and caused them to think they are missing out when they are actually exactly where they need to be in their lives.  They are attending school, making memories with close family and friends, and getting themselves established for a successful life and career yet they believe they should be doing more, seeing more, or experiencing more than that.  I want to encourage you to stop thinking you should be somewhere else.  Be present where you are right now.  Enjoy the people you have in your life right now.  Embrace the calling God has placed on your life right now.  Stop comparing yourself to the fictitious people on social media.  In fact, stop comparing yourself to anybody else.  We are all created differently to accomplish different purposes in this life.  God has a glorious plan for you.  Only you can fulfill that plan.  That is your calling.  That is your destiny.

How about you?  Is it time to set aside the chasing after the wind that you have been experiencing due to the unrealistic expectations you have placed on yourself or on those around you?  Can you focus on your life, family, friends, and purpose in a new, exciting way in 2020?  That’s my plan for this fresh, new year.

I’m ready for you, 2020.